Vodka, tequila, whatever your liquid superpower is, it’s all fun and games, until you and the wall cross paths…
We’ve all had those nights, sitting at the bar, drinking our drinks, and you stand up and think, “Wow, I am feeling better than I thought.” And suddenly one shot more, and you are Clark freaking Kent.
Here are some of the many roles we take on as the unstoppable superhero vodka has turned us into:
Platinum selling singer
Hell, of course karaoke is a good idea and you sound like Whitney Houston.
The love guru
You are the only single one of the group but when you are drunk, you give the world’s greatest love tips. “Yes, you should break up with him.” “Oh, let me help you perfect the perfect text to your crush.” “You deserve better than her.”
The one that got away
Being drunk is the perfect time to remind your ex what they are missing. That “sexy” SnapChat with your mascara running down your face is sure to win him back.
Gisele Bündchen
The look in the mirror like “Damn I look good.” Wake up the next morning with toilet paper off your shoe and your hair like Ozzy Osborne.
A participant of a food-eating contest
I don’t care what it is, just give me food. $23.13 later at Taco Bell..
The next contestant of “So You Think You Can Dance?”
Sure, show the dance floor how you can break dance, but take it from someone whose dancing turned into breaking an ankle.
Everyone’s new best friend
Remember that girl you hate, oh yeah, you will be besties by the end of the night. “I never hated you.” “No, I never hated you.” Never talks again…
Bill Gates
Rounds for everyone in the bar on me. Yeah, your reserve line of credit didn’t like that choice.
Even more impressive if you take on all these roles in one night. Walking around like you own the bar, and next thing you know, the wall or floor become your Kryptonite.
Hey, you made a good run, until you have to check your bank account the next day, make an emergency room trip, and do damage control on all your text messages…
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