Okay there are WAY more than 5 phrases a woman says that really mean something else... Like pretty much half of what we say. However, I will focus on 5 deadly ones. I, personally, am very easy-going, don't take offense too much, don't get mad easily... So, in my world, if I say any of these, you probably messed up BIG time..
Guys, you need to catch onto her tone. Although, she makes it seem like everything is a-okay, she is secretly plotting your death in her head. Also, she will think about your conversation for the next 6 1/2 days, and probably bring up the situation in a fight 8 months later (even though due to her response, you never knew she was mad in the first place.)
I like to think us women are the most complicated, yet easy to please creatures there are. We over think everything, don't speak our mind, and the Earth would shatter if we ever made a decision on where to eat. However, on the flip side, just tell us we are pretty, don't lie, and bring us ice cream when we are sad, and we are good to go. But just to make your life a little easier, here is some decoding:
1. IT'S OKAY:
NO IT'S NOT. Whatever you did, she is PISSED. You better head to the florist and get her flowers, because she is remembering this forever.
2. I'M FINE:
She is far from fine. And unlike you guys when you are in a bad mood and want to be alone, she wants to talk about it. So, you better sit down, shut up, and let the girl rant. You might think it's stupid. She's mad that her best friend Sue is hanging out with Michelle tonight instead of her, but it's because she told Sue she wanted to stay home, but really she didn't want to stay home, she wanted Sue to convince her to go out. Dumb, yes, but she's still upset. If you don't make her talk, she is going to think you are insensitive to her feelings. And after that if you even breathe wrong, she is going to take it out on you.
3. GO AHEAD:
This is a dare, not her blessing. She is wondering how stupid you really are if you think you are going to watch football with the boys on your 2 year, 3 month and 4 day anniversary. Anniversary of your first kiss, first time holding hands, first time making her smile, yeah - just clear the calendar, because she remembers...
4. WHATEVER:
She literally just said "F*ck you!" But she is too much of a lady to be upfront about it. She is not happy with your decision and you better fix it FAST! Don't get mad she doesn't make choices ever, that's how girls are, and you should know this by now.
And the worst reaction you could ever get from a woman is:
5. SILENCE:
She literally has 16, 739 thoughts running through her head, and it is all going to erupt at once. Just as soon as she decides what she is most mad/sad/upset/confused about.
So, hopefully I have saved some of you fellas from a hard-learned lesson. Watch the body language, pick up on her tone, and know, happy wife happy life (applies to girlfriends, too).. And the woman is ALWAYS right - even when she's completely and utterly wrong.
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