The Hunger Games: First World Survival Tips
So, we can't all be a badass like Katniss Everdeen... but if the Hunger Games were to happen in our high tech, first world lives, we might have an advantage over the bows and little balls that send them gifts.
1. Take out the ditz.
One of the dumb tributes is gonna update her Instagram like "You know just hanging with Peta up in the tree." Find her, one down.
2. Perfect the bitch face.
No one messes with a girl that looks angry.
3. On the other hand, don't be too nice.
Luckily, my brothers would be too old for The Reaping if Hunger Game rules applied. Because me as tribute = death wish within minutes.
4. Now is time to get revenge on all the guys/girls that broke your heart.
Bet they regret not calling you back now... Won't be eating poisonous berries together at the end.
5. Watch what you post on Facebook.
Just make sure you aren't dumb ditz in survival tip #1, and accidentally leave location services on. (Katniss Everdeen is at Red Robin with Gale Hawthorne.)
6. But also use Facebook to your advantage.
Lie about your location to throw your enemies off. Heck, guys do it every day to cover their asses.
7. Luckily we don't have to be caveman for food.
No shooting your food. Just walk your ass to the fridge!
8. Just stay in bed.
I've always been told when all else fails, go to bed.
9. Don't worry about that crazy fire ball scene.
In the real world, we have fire extinguishers and hoses.
10. Get an alliance together.
Really because you have 992 on Facebook, at least one of them has to like you.
11. Just be drunk the whole time.
Because in the first world, we have alcohol.
12. Play out how half our society acts already.
Most people are already pros at stabbing people in the back to get ahead.
13. Pair up with Gale.
Because someone would have to be stupid to kill the brother of "People's Sexiest Man Alive."
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